Our Feminine God

Came across a really interesting article here - just a really brief reminder that the bible is SO wide open to interpretation.  "God is decidedly not an old man on a throne in the sky".  Woo hoo!

House Spouse - Mom or Dad?

As we continue to struggle through the land of gender roles and parenting, it's not hard to find an endless supply of opinions.  But there aren't too many that make me think the way this article did.  Last night on Modern Family, the mom is considering running for public office but worries to her husband about "who will take the kids to practice and recitals and keep them from burning down the house?!"  His response is golden: "Oh! It must be so hard to live as a single mom... I will take care of it!"  Not to make light of being a single mom, or a woman in a marriage with a husband who doesn't contribute to raising their children or maintaining the household, but his comment is exactly like something my husband would say.  Let's just remember that I have it pretty good - actually REALLY good.  We can't forget that each family is different - hen it comes to day to day life, it's less important what is the case statistically, and more important what is the case in my family.  But it's still very interesting, inspiring and indeed sometimes a huge relief to realize that you're not alone, and there is someone out there who is thinking about, and making sense of, the exact situation you find yourself in.

Paper Dresses Taken to a Whole New Level

WOW!  That's really all there is to say to this.  I find it inspiring in so many ways: a mom spending time with her daughter just for fun, taking a little girl's obsession with fashion and using it in a hands-on way to learn skills, encouraging creativity, craftiness, silliness... Pretty great.

Pink?

I'm not sure why, but I can't seem to resist the biiiig sigh that comes every time I look at pictures from Soule Mama's house.  This post is about her baby's new room.  Yes, it is PINK, but of course not the hideous pink associated with princess culture these days.  But it's still pink.  Not something I would choose, but perhaps, when it's your baby (5th of 5) you just throw your ideals out the window and go head-on into the girliness....  It is completely adorable (I mean, I adore it).

Hitting, Holding and Staylistening

There are a LOT of ways of raising kids and it seems to me that the easiest way to go is the way you were raised - it just comes naturally.  But I find that most of the time doing things according to instinct results in inconsistency and unpredictable behaviour from me.  And I know this does nothing to help my kids through the stages of exploration they are experiencing.  At the same time, it seems mostly futile to try to make myself into someone I'm not.  And so I am always keeping my eyes out for ways to refine and solidify what comes naturally to me - ways I can be myself in the best way.

Although it seems like a LOT of work, I think this might be one example of something that fits in to what I do naturally (when she hits or has a tantrum, my "ideal" response at this point has been to hold her so that she feels secure enough to let go of that anger), but takes it to the next level.  I find I'm always wondering how second and third children fit into these strategies, not to mention circumstances where you simply aren't or can't be your best self.  Regardless, I'll take inspiration where I can find it.

Empathy vs Sympathy

Never realized there was a significant difference between the two.  I'm sure they each have their place (...hmm... is there ever a time for sympathy?) but this animated video/talk makes it very clear that empathy is the approach of choice when you want to be with someone.  Christmas is a good time for that.

Magic in the Mundane

The past three and a half years have involved a serious learning curve - motherhood.  I am beginning to realize that I have resisted the major changes that have been going on in and around me and it is a slow process of coming to accept what my life looks like now.  I always planned to be a mother, always said that my worst fear was not being able to have children.  I have always loved kids and never thought twice about my plans to have "at least five".  Oh the bliss of ignorance!  It's not that I was particularly wrong - I do love children, I love my children and I do hope to have more of them.  It's just that I thought I would be able to just continue living my life.  Or that somehow my life would flow seamlessly into their life.

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that after a significant breakdown this week, this is what came to me:

Girls,
You are the gift, and calling
given to me
the day I became a mother.
YOU ARE ENOUGH.

I cried and cried, why can't I accept that being a mother is a legitimate and worthwhile way to spend a life?  And so that became my goal for the next year.  To put my whole self into mothering.  To use my brilliant mind (now that's confidence), my creativity, my problem solving skills, my love for reading and research...all of my gifts, into being a mother.  Is it possible?  Don't know.  Am I going to fail?  Probably.  Does that mean I shouldn't do it?  Definitely not.  Who has tried to change the world without knowing that their attempts are almost certainly doomed to failure?  I would say very few.

Well, how's that for a blog post?  A little out of the ordinary I guess.  What I really wanted to share was a most incredible video that expresses all of this in a beautiful and inspiring and, for me, heart-wrenching two-and-a-half minutes.  It makes beautiful the mundane work of mothering.

Thank you, friend, for sharing that with me.  Someone remind me to watch this video on a regular basis this year to remind me of the magic of this time of my life.  I don't see it now, but I know it's there.