Magic in the Mundane

The past three and a half years have involved a serious learning curve - motherhood.  I am beginning to realize that I have resisted the major changes that have been going on in and around me and it is a slow process of coming to accept what my life looks like now.  I always planned to be a mother, always said that my worst fear was not being able to have children.  I have always loved kids and never thought twice about my plans to have "at least five".  Oh the bliss of ignorance!  It's not that I was particularly wrong - I do love children, I love my children and I do hope to have more of them.  It's just that I thought I would be able to just continue living my life.  Or that somehow my life would flow seamlessly into their life.

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that after a significant breakdown this week, this is what came to me:

Girls,
You are the gift, and calling
given to me
the day I became a mother.
YOU ARE ENOUGH.

I cried and cried, why can't I accept that being a mother is a legitimate and worthwhile way to spend a life?  And so that became my goal for the next year.  To put my whole self into mothering.  To use my brilliant mind (now that's confidence), my creativity, my problem solving skills, my love for reading and research...all of my gifts, into being a mother.  Is it possible?  Don't know.  Am I going to fail?  Probably.  Does that mean I shouldn't do it?  Definitely not.  Who has tried to change the world without knowing that their attempts are almost certainly doomed to failure?  I would say very few.

Well, how's that for a blog post?  A little out of the ordinary I guess.  What I really wanted to share was a most incredible video that expresses all of this in a beautiful and inspiring and, for me, heart-wrenching two-and-a-half minutes.  It makes beautiful the mundane work of mothering.

Thank you, friend, for sharing that with me.  Someone remind me to watch this video on a regular basis this year to remind me of the magic of this time of my life.  I don't see it now, but I know it's there.

Home and Art

Over at good old Apartment Therapy, I came across this "House Call" and love it.  I really like the look of lots of little things nicely organized and each in their place.  "So much to look at" as someone once said about our place.  For some reason that just feels good to me.  Turns out the people who live in that house are artists and have done so many very interesting projects.  They state their purpose as  creating objects and projects that are discreet invitations to explore, collaborate and play.  They are called "Dear Human".  This type of thing is right up my ally.  In my other life where I'm an artist.  ;)

Eclectic Inspiration in a Minimalist Collector?

At first glance I found this apartment tour really inspiring.  I got further into and lost interest a bit as some areas are quite bare-bones.  But looking over it again I realized that the way he puts together a minimalist approach with a repurposed, eclectic, collectors eye results in a very interesting and inspiring esthetic.  In the bathroom for example, bare conduit and light bulbs are curved and positioned in a creative way that makes it look like a light fixture, rather than purely functional materials.  That, combined with the non-existent faucet, stands as an intriguing contrast to the fabulously colourful and lively tiles and concrete blocks that make up the shower surround.  Of course this is a bachelor pad where the ever challenging practicality of children doesn't come into consideration and where each object is carefully curated and controlled.  I have to remind myself of that.  But inspiration is good, even if it just adds a little piece to the puzzle in my mind of what it is that I love.

Not JUST a girl

If you want to be inspired and filled with determination to do right by the girls in your life, check this out.  I don't deny that I'm slightly anti-princess and I dress my girls in boyish clothing from time to time.  I'm trying desperately to find the balance between embracing femininity and all that it entails, and smashing our cultural idea of femininity to bits so that my daughters can find their own way and be who they really are deep down inside.  I really have no idea what I'm doing, but this type of project is encouraging and makes me feel like I might be on the right track.  Wow.

More Beautiful

Dove is a bit of an enigma in my mind - I can't quite decide if I admire them or not.  Nonetheless, I think this video is quite thought provoking and a really interested glimpse into the minds of women.  Whether they provide definitive proof or not, they do bring home the truth - you are more beautiful than you think.